RANSVESTIA
boys, I had learned to masturbate. I ran my hands down my front; no, it was alright, in fact I wondered if my garters and the lower extremities of my bloomers might show more through the close-fitting skirt. In retrospect, I am now quite sure that all this had something to do with. my being a transvestite; and I am fairly sure that the boys playing the maid and Mrs. Candor were similarly influenced. They, like me, hap- pily lingered about in their costumes after the final curtain, and once when I was undressing beside Mrs. Candor I caught a sudden quick glimpse as he stepped out of his underclothes-white, I think, or per- haps beige that proved to me quite conclusively I was not alone in being stimulated by the clothing of the opposite sex.
After the second dress rehearsal the following day I was able to dress and change myself with very little help from Mrs. Ellis. Stockings had seams in those days and I rarely got them straight first time; as a result I became quite adept at fastening and unfastening garters. I did notice that our Mrs. Candor dressed as if he had always fastened bras and ad- justed slip straps, etc. later on when I dug into previous school annuals I saw that he had been in many dramatic productions and always in the role of a girl or woman, and that at a carnival function the year before he appeared as a princess of something or other in a glamorous satin evening gown, silver evening shoes, impressive jewelry, long white gloves, a fur stole and a sparkling coronet atop his blonde wig. I can only suppose his mother or sisters provided him with the clothes and and accessories. Or may be it was Mrs. Ellis, who always looked after the wardrobe and who was an expert at making very passable females out of boys. I sometimes wonder if it was her underwear and dresses I was wearing for I was then very close to her size, probably 14 or 16. She certainly was a stickler for detail, and that it was worthwhile must be evidenced to some extent by the fame enjoyed by our school produc- tions, to which many non-parents came as well as regular theatre critics. from town. A tradition of competence and near-professionalism had been built up over the years. No doubt the fact that most of the boys' parents were wealthy had something to do with the fine costumes and excellent stage furnishings and props.
We were all nervous wrecks first night, as is usual. But once the cur- tain had opened and the audience warmed up I began to enjoy myself as Lady Sneerwell. I was at first very conscious of my legs and skirts and convinced myself that some members of the audience looked at me with X-ray eyes. I did notice more than one couple near the stage turn and whisper and smile at each other while watching me. Finally, know-
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